I was nervous about who was going to evaluate me on my communication skills. I know how I sound in my head, and how things occasionally come out sounded ridiculous, but I was more concerned about how I came across to those around me. I chose to have a friend of mine and my mother do the evaluations. Now I was not concerned about what my friend would say, because we have a very open relationship of no judging, just honesty. So I thought with her, that our outcomes would be very similar. With my mother, that was a different story. I think every mother daughter relationship have their periods where one feels more superior than the other. I did not know because of so much emotion being assigned to our conversations if she would be able to hear me for me, or because I was her daughter.
Surprisingly all of our evaluations were within points of each other!! I found this surprising and relieving! I know what I try to strive for with my conversations, but was not always sure that they came off that way. Apparently I am not doing that bad of a job at this whole communication thing. :)
From reading through the evaluation categories I learned that I do need to modify my communication and listening tactics a little bit. I tend to be slightly naïve when people tell me things, and unfortunately I have been that way my whole life. I take many things at face value, but I am learning at how to analyze the information that I receive, and then how to respond to it. That is the other issue I have. Sure I might ramble off a handful of suggestive ways that someone could correct or fix their problems, even though they never asked for that. This is a family trait as well, so I have some major reconnection to fix there! I find it helpful talking to people through text message, because it allows me more time to analyze the conversation and to determine if they wanted advice, or they just wanted someone to listen. My friends are very good at letting me know when I have it wrong because they will question my silence or delayed responses with 'What do you think" or "Has that ever happened to you?"
I really like the relationships that I have created over the years, and I am proud to say that I am communicating on a very honest level with my friends and family. I appreciate that they are aware of those things within me, and that they use them to their strength as well.
Hi Jessica,
ReplyDeleteI guess you and I differ in terms of our stance on text messaging. I feel that I cannot always express myself fully through text. Also things that I text or what people text me can be taken out of context. A good example of this is if someone types something jokingly you won't be able to see their facial expressions, their tone of voice, or even the smirk on their face. There is always the chance of someone taking something said as face value instead of the context it was meant to be in.
Sherry
Aloha Jessica!
ReplyDeleteI was actual really excited to see what other people thought of how I communicate with them and others. I was surprised when their scores matched the same results that I did. It makes you feel really good to know that their perception of you in how you perceive yourself. @Sherry As far as texting, I guess that's why you have emojis to add to your texts so people can get a better feel of your facial expressions. One thing I've also observed with text messages is the length of time between you sending a text and receiving a reply or response back. Not only do we need to be aware of others misunderstanding texts because their isn't facial expressions, tone of voice, but time. I had a conversation with a good friend and I waited all day for them to respond back and it affected my day greatly. I couldn't believe it had such affect on me and I eventually called him up and he said that his phone was off because he was sleeping and forgot to turn it back on. So our actions definitely affect others perception of us.
Jessica,
ReplyDeleteIt is interesting to learn about how others perceive us as communicators. In order to be an effective communicator, I believe we need help from others to give us feedback. The question is always how receptive we are to the views of others about ourselves.
Yen