I really had to think about this one. There have always been name calling or negativity, but I really had to think of the meaning behind it. So this is what I remember....
When I moved out to California I was living with a family that stayed away from the faith practices. I had been attending church for as long as I could remember, and missed the family support. So I went with one of the families friends to their church with them. This was awkward the whole way around. It felt weird leaving the house because I felt like I was breaking some kind of code that the family stays in the house on Sunday's. So when I returned from church I was talking to the lady I was living with, and I told her that her friend had complimented me. The lady I was living with made up this whole shenanigans as to why is was just about her friend, and not even really directed at me. After that she cut off contact from that friend. It was really hard to go back to church after that. I felt like it wasn't acceptable to go.
Just because I came with a different set of values does not mean that she had to squash them because I was not like her. It was deflating because it was part of who I was. I was in a time in my life where I had to find out who I was, and unfortunately I did not fight hard enough for the things that I wanted for myself.
Going through this experience I wish I would have stuck to my guns, and kept up with what I found important. There were other people around me that had the similar passions as me, I was just afraid to stand up for myself. In this situation I think that we could have both learned from each other. She had a fear about the church, something that needed to be worked out. Also it is important for her to understand that whatever she went through as a child, is not the way that it has to be as an adult. I needed to learn how to stand up for myself. I spent too much of my life trying to please other people and to help them, instead of figuring out who I was and what I wanted.
You can only learn and grow from the past to become a stronger person.
Hi Jessica,
ReplyDeleteIt is clear to see that the family that you lived with does not respect other's beliefs and religion. It appears to me that if they had a problem with you worshiping they should have discussed this situation with you up front. I don't believe that you would have tried to push religion on them. I believe that you would have respected their decision to not worship and praise any God. I am sure that this was very uncomfortable for you. I can even see your feelings being hurt. In order for us to grow as people we must learn to accept each other's differences and when we are able to do this the world will become a much better place to live in.
Jessica-
ReplyDeleteIt seems you did learn from your experience. You learned something about yourself, and you learned something about the family you were living with. You were right to say we all learn from our pasts, that is what shapes who we are today. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
Jessica,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing that experience. You truly grew from that experience. There are times that you feel like you have to conform to people around you to please them due to they have helped you, but you should be who you are as well. I agree with Kiara when she knows that you would not have pushed religion and that you respected them. I think that accepting and understanding, and letting people be who they are without judgment is a key to making a better world.
Jessica,
ReplyDeleteFirst and foremost thank you for a sharing a personal experience. In reading your post I can only imagine the emotions you dealt with during this experience. I do believe that past experiences does make you stronger. When I was younger at times I felt like being strong really didn't apply to me because of how young I was. I agree with the rest of our colleagues that you have learned this experience. I do feel that you could have showed her how to face her fear of going to church. Its sad how one experience can cause people to turn away from things. Recently, I learned that I can not please everyone. It is taking me harder the to grasp that concept because I have a fear of telling people no even when a know I am right...I say I'm work in progress...Thanks for sharing....
Aloha Jessica,
ReplyDeleteI do enjoy reading your blogs and posts. As a missionary in Japan I came across so many members that quit going to church. Some members for over 20 years still refusing to go back to church because of something another member said to them was very common. I can't believe someone could hold a grudge for that long. I have learned so much for my experiences as a missionary and after reading your blog, it reminded me of my experiences working as missionary. There were so many times where I wanted to quit, pack up, and go home. I was a volunteer missionary for 2 years and paying for my own way, food, and expenses. I was cut off from watching tv, reading newspapers, and no contact from family except 2 phone calls a year on mother's day and Christmas. Learning from our experiences definitely makes us stronger. Standing up for what you believe is true and not conforming to others makes you example to others.