I cannot express my gratitude to everyone that has helped me along my journey. Engaging with all of my classmates allowed me to look outside my own box, and create amazing opportunities for the students and families that I work with. There are so many things that I have learned about myself throughout this process, and given myself a dream for the future. Many of the insights that I have gathered have come from information that has been shared with me by my colleagues.
In finalizing our capstone project, I truly hope that we follow our future dreams that we have set for ourselves. I know, for myself, I never thought that I would have a Master's degree, let alone finish my Bachelors. Now, I have a bigger dream, a dream that takes careful, and strategic planning, to someday get my doctorate. I hope that I have enough faith in my abilities' as an educator, and as an advocate for children and families that I take the time to pursue my dream.
I hope that we all remain in touch, and can continue to learn and grow from each other!
People to People is an organization that was put together with the idea of exploring the world, because people are just people. Their mission " to bridge cultural and political borders through education and exchange, creating global citizens and making the world a better place for future generations"( http://www.peopletopeople.com). This is a very exciting organization that works with students, and has teachers travel with them to grow their educational experience.
In order to be a leader here are the requirements:
Demonstrates the experience necessary to responsibly lead and mentor students
Acts with diplomacy when engaging new cultures or personal backgrounds
Has passion for learning and focuses on fostering teachable moments and 21st-century skills before and during travel
Helps to resolve travel issues and models a positive attitude
Displays sufficient stamina to participate in all program activities (this can include walking more than six miles a day, hiking uneven terrain, handling luggage, and providing up to three weeks of student supervision)
Communicates in a professional manner with everyone on the program, from students to fellow leaders to service personnel
If you think that you are qualified for the positon, just fill apply online! I think this is a great organization that is working with children and families to explore what our historic places has to offer.
International Justice Mission is something that I have known about for some time, but never thought to post about it. IJM is an organization that travels to different countries to protect "the poor from violence by partnering with local authorities to: rescue victims, bring criminals to justice, restore survivors, and strengthen justice systems" (http://www.ijm.org). I read their book back in my undergrad studies, Terrify No More, and it is an amazing book about these individuals that have retired from their positions, or dedicate their time to these missions. There are cops, lawyers, social workers, doctors, nurses, everything that you can think of to help control a situation that might arise, when they are out in the field. IJM has a lot of positions available, the only one that was posted to work directly with the children was a Trauma Social Worker, which would be able to work with children that had experienced sexual trauma. The person filling the position had to have a Masters in Social Work, and be fluent in Spanish, due to the requirement of travel. They do offer Internships and Fellowships.
Travellers WorldWide is an organization that is set up to get volunteers, and interns into schools across the globe, to help their teachers educate these children in English. There are a variety of places that you can travel to, for different lengths of time as well. There are no specific qualifications that are required to be able to go, but once there you will be required to set up lesson plans and instruct. The current teacher, and principal will help with this transitional period. These classrooms are not just set up in schools, but also orphanages.
I was intrigued by the information that I found this week. It gave me a lot more insight on things that I want to add to my resume, and others ways that I can help children and families. The early childhood field covers so many different areas of families with different needs, and no matter how long I've been in the field, I've always missed someone I could help.
In researching some of the communities of practice that were recommended to me by a colleague, I came across a job opportunity with the Hand in Hand Parenting organization. This organization works with families to help educate parents on any questions that they might have, about raising their child(ren). "Hand in Hand Parenting is an organization dedicated to transforming parenting through providing support, resources, and training to parents from all backgrounds and economic circumstances. For 25 years, our cutting edge yet adaptable approach, Parenting by Connection, has given parents practical tools to resolve universal family challenges" (Hand in Hand, 2014). They currently have an Executive Director position available, with the job skills requiring:
Success in fund raising, totaling over $1 million dollars a year
7 Years of leadership experience
Strong financial and operations management experience
This job was intriguing for me, because of the work that they do with families. This job requires a lot of experience in fundraising, which I am impressed that they put an amount of what they would like to see from their job candidates.
The second organization that I looked into was Amma Parenting Center. It is an organization that partners with the local hospital, March of Dimes, and a local toy store. What this organization does, is offer hospital classes to expectant mothers to ease the transition from pregnancy, to birth. I was very interested in their website, and was excited about what they currently offer to parents. In conducting further investigation they also offer classes to fathers, and a lactation support class (Amma Parenting Center, n.d.).
The only current job opening that they have is for an Infant CPR Instructor. There were no specific qualifications that were listed with the posting, there was just an email to use to contact an individual if you were interested in the position. This company sounds very enlightening to work for, and am curious to see what job openings they will have in the future,
The Office of Women's Health was informative as well. I like the way that the information is presented and offered to women. Not only do they offer information to pregnant women, but also to teenagers, and women that are looking to get pregnant. There is informational resources on everything from an ovulation prediction calendar, to a printout question sheet for your babysitter. I like that there is a broader listing of information that is available to women (Office of Women's Health, 2014).
There are not any job postings that are available through their website, but there are links to opportunities for internships. Participants on different educational journeys are encouraged to apply for an internship with the company. Once they have completed their degree, and have completed their internship, there are opportunities for a permanent placement (Office of Women's Health, 2014).
Researching these different organizations gave me more ideas on how I can expand my current CoP, and what information is currently out there, and what additional resources I feel are necessary that are not out there. I am happy that I have looked outside my current CoP and found other opportunities that are out there, that I can benefit from their current knowledge on my challenge.
References
Amma Parenting Center. (n.d.). Programs. Retrieved from Amma Parenting Center: http://ammaparentingcenter.com
Hand in Hand. (2014). Executive Director of hand in hand parenting. Retrieved from Hand in Hand Nurturing the Parent-Child Connection: http://www.handinhandparenting.org
Office of Women's Health. (2014, January 13). About Us. Retrieved from Office of Women's Health: http://www.womenshealth.gov
One organization that I found is the Newhouse organization. This is a school that they have started within a domestic violence shelter. They have hired a teacher that is Special Education Certified, and they stick to the local school district requirements. They are actually a part of the Kansas City Public School System and work side-by-side with them, so that the students within the shelter are receiving the best educational opportunities available to them. In order to become a volunteer at Newhouse, you must be at least 18 years of age, pass a background check, and attend an orientation/training.
Project Eagle Community Programs "mission is to nurture the healthy growth and development of the community's most vulnerable young children and families by providing a foundation for school readiness and strengthening family engagement" http://www.projecteagle.org/. They have Head Start and Early Head Start classrooms set up around the Kansas City area. They currently have an opening for a Lead Teacher job requirements are: a Bachelor's degree in Early Childhood Education or Child Development. Classroom experience with older toddlers and preschoolers. Ability to establish trusting relationships with young children. Ability to communicate effectively and establish partnerships with other classroom teachers, center staff, community partners, and parents. Willingness to work in a highly collaborative environment. Desire for continued professional growth. Ability to lift up to 50 pounds. Basic computer skills. Ability to individualize care based on individual children's needs (medical, educational, family situations). Ability to become CPR and First Aid Certified within 30 days of employment.
The Family Conservancy has different information on how to help families, child care centers, and children that are homeless. Their mission statement is "helping children and families achieve a lifetime of success" http://www.thefamilyconservancy.org/about-us/overview. They have online resources that are available, as well as classes that are offered within their center. They currently have job openings for: Practitioner II, Head Start Fiscal Coordinator, Head Start Mental Health Specialist, Part Time Child Care Teacher, and a Part Time Practitioner II. The requirements for the Practitioner II: Master's degree in Social Work, or related field required. Three years prior relevant working experience and expertise in serving young children and their families required. Written and verbal communication skills required to interact with health professionals, vendors, and agencies in a professional manner, developing rapport and enhancing business relationships required. Working knowledge of community resources required.
www.healthychildren.org is not a local agency but an online resource that has valuable information for parents, regarding their children. They offer news, tips and tricks, medical advice, and so much more.
All of these organizations are looking out for families that could be going through a hardship, and have opportunities available to them. There are a variety of resources that each one offers, that can help a variety of people looking for assistance.
My hope for the future is that my students leave at the end of the school year feeling proud about their culture, who they are as an individual, and how to thrive with others that are just as unique as them. The past year I was transferred to a school where there were a lot of behavior concerns. I spent most of my year redirecting and correcting those issues, and this year I want it to be different. I want my students to be able to enjoy learning about each other, and know that every day we come together, we are a family unit.
I hold a lot of pride in some of my teaching, and wanting my students to learn that we are a family working together. I feel that so many of my students do not have an abundance of people in their lives that they can turn to, and I want them to know that your classmates and teachers are there for them. It is an exhausting field working in some of the neighborhoods that I do, but I would not change it for the world. They teach me more about myself than what I had ever thought was possible.
Thank you to all my classmates that gave me feedback on all of my assignments. It helped me grow as an individual, and it will help me grow when I start the school year again. I am appreciative for all the support and dedication that everyone has put into the class, and I am excited about working with you all in our FINAL class!!
My hope is that in learning about diversity, and how to create an anti-bias classroom, that I can truly respect all the cultures, and uniqueness that comes into my classroom. I hope that I have the proper amount of compassion when it comes to talking with parents about tough topics. I have no doubt that I have compassion for the students, I cry whenever I talk to parents and I tell them something amazing that their child did. I am a big softie. Which is why I think that it is hard for me to approach some topics, is because I do not want to upset anyone. In order to reach out to all my families, I have to at least be willing to take that step!
My goal is to get my students involved! I want them to be able to ask the questions that make us all need to research the topic, and then bring it into the classroom. I want them to be able to understand about diversity and the beauty of everyone being unique. With this goal, I hope that it makes parents stop and assess some of the situations that they put their children in, which would compromise their ability to see an anti-bias society.
Thank you to everyone that has visited my page over the course of this class. I have enjoyed reading your comments and suggestions, and take them to heart. I have learned some much from all of you, in reading your blogs as well, and cannot wait to finish out this program working with you all again!
I chose the Latin America and the Caribbean because I thought that this is a central location where many tourists go to vacation. I did not think that they would be aware of the "real" conditions of the country because they are being shown "the wealthy" side of things. Is the grass really greener on the other side?
Here is the truth of the matter. 35 million children do not enter into an educational program. 90% of 68,000 thousand children acquire AIDS through their mothers pregnancy because treatment is only offered to 1/3 of the women. Over half of the children in this region are living in poverty. 85,000 children die each year as a result of violence in the home. These statistics are very upsetting. There are so many children that are living in extreme conditions that affect every aspect of their development. UNICEF is working at helping organizations that are working with these children and families, to change the outcomes. They are also working with the media to use them for the cause to change attitudes and behaviors of others around them. It is sad to think that so many people vacation to these beautiful places, but there is so much hurt that is happening behind the scenes. I do not think I could go to any of these places just to vacation any more, I would have to volunteer my time somewhere! http://www.unicef.org/lac
Where ever we look children are dealing with issues that are not always seen by the naked eye. They have to deal with issues that are way beyond their cognitive level, but many think that their lives are "normal" because they have not seen anything different. These pictures represent the reality of some of their lives. Media can portray the good and the evil, but often times thrives off the chaos of the world. This is brought into their homes, where chaos is being fought on a different level. Whether with verbal, physical, psychological, or inherited abuse, they are suffering. It takes the time to stop and think about the world that these children are living in, to stop and think of how to help them as their teachers.
Those were the exact words that came out of my mouth when a student last year referred to a police officer as a "Po Po". Two of my boys were playing Police Officers in the house lab, and I heard one of them say "the Po Po can't get me!", and I told him "we don't say those words in class!" I was shocked that a 4 year old knew that word, and was using it "appropriately". I stopped myself and realized that just saying those words would have no affect on the student, so I called them over and talked to them about it.
I did not feel the need to ask where he had heard those terms before, I made my assumption and hoped that he would take the information he learned to the appropriate people and help them change their opinion of Police Officers as well. I asked him what he thought a Po Po was, and he told me " a police officer that arrests people for no reason". I asked him " well why do police officers arrest people?". He did not know, so I told him that "there are rules outside of school that we have to follow as well. We have rules inside of our classroom to keep us safe, responsible and respect, and who enforces those rules?" My student, "The teacher". "Your right, so when we are doing something outside of school that is unsafe, not respectful and not responsible, Police Officers have to enforce those rules. They have a very hard job to make sure that everyone is being safe, responsible and respectful, and I know that I would not like it if you called me a name that was not my own. Would you like it if someone called you a name that was not your own?" My student- " No because I don't like it when people call me my brothers name". "Can we try and use everyone's names when we talk to them, or about them". My student -"Yeah".
In the following weeks of this topic coming up in class, my student continued to play as a Police Officer, but something changed in his demeanor when he would be one. He seemed very proud to be a Police Officer, and then he would take a note pad around the room and give out tickets to students that were not following the rules. I think he started to understand what Police Officers do, and that they weren't people to be afraid of.
Many of my students that I work with have a parent or parents that have been to jail, and unfortunately some of them have witnessed their parent being arrested in their own house. Even though these things have happened around these children, no one has taken the time to explain things to them. They are left to the impression that Police Officers knock on doors and arrest people. I know that what I talked about with my student was nothing major, but I really hope that it leaves a lasting impression with him.
It scares me how influential the media has taken the
topic of sex into society.Sexual
relationships that you had with people use to be between you and that person,
sex never left the house.Now it is
something that is broadcast throughout the media, without a bat of an
eyelash.I was having this discussion
with an assistant this year, and was talking about cartoon network.I am sure that many children fall asleep to
their televisions on, while watching a cartoon show.Here is the question though, how many parents
actually turn the television off?Are
they aware that after midnight cartoon network turns into AdultSwim?There are cartoons that are still played on
the channel, but they are directed at adults.Including their language both verbal and non-verbal, and their clothing
options.How many children are waking up
in the middle of the night, and are watching this, or falling back asleep
listening to what these shows are talking about.
Unfortunately I have too many examples of children I
worked with, or have observed through the media that are exposed to a highly
sexualized environment.
1)I
worked at a daycare in California, and I loved the parents and the
environment.Every day after the older
kids got home from school we would always have a “dance party”.This helped our older kid’s burn off some
much needed energy, and our younger kids had fun hanging out with the big
kids.Needless to say they were rocking
out to The Wiggles, or Barney, but it was exciting for them.One day it got awkward.One of our 4 year olds grabbed one of the
chairs from the sensory area, and started dancing in front of it.I asked her what she was doing, because
frankly I was confused. She said “a guy is supposed to be in the chair” and
proceeded to “air grind” the invisible man in the chair.My jaw dropped!“Children as young as four learning to gyrate
to songs in ways that might have stunned grown-ups a few decades ago” (Levin & Kilbourne).That was a first for me!
2)A
few years ago my older lived in Las Vegas.One Thanksgiving my family headed out there to be with him, my younger
brother was probably between 8-9 at the time.We were driving down the strip to see my brother’s site that he was
working on, and I remember my mom having to cover my little brothers eyes
because there were Victoria Secret ads on the side of the busses.It wasn’t displaying a nighty, it was several
models with their backs turned only wearing a thong.I do not think this type of advertisement was
necessary, Victoria Secret is a common name, and I do not think that giant bums
on a bus was going to increase their sales.All it did was give my mom an anxiety attack because my lil brother
couldn’t enjoy the sites, because there was a sexual ad on every corner.Hence reminding my mom why Las Vegas is
labeled as “Sin City”.
3)Ever
seen the show Toddlers and Tiaras? Well unfortunately I watched it one time,
due to a friend’s recommendation.Wow
did I get a show! There was a girl on there, and for one of her outfit changes
she was dressed as Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, before Richard Gere came
along.The 3 year old did not pick out
the outfit, but her mother did, who saw nothing wrong with the outfit
4)Levi’s
unbuttoned commercials and billboards were popular when I was living in
California.I remember one of their commercials’
coming on, and thought that I was an X-rated film that got turned on the
television.I could not find the commercial that I
remember seeing so long ago, but come to find out, there are a lot of their unbuttoned
commercials’.I am sharing a link to one
of their jean commercials’, and I recommend, if you watch it, not around
children.
“Children growing up
today are bombarded from a very early age with graphic messages about sex and
sexiness in the media and popular culture” (Levin & Kilbourne, p. 2).Sex is everywhere, why, because sex
sells.Children are being hit with
sexual messages everywhere they go, and it is hard for parents to regulate how
they are exposed to it.You go without
televisions in your house, but they can still witness it driving to school, or
by friends.
I think that this is
always going to be a constant battle with parents and children.As hard as your try to prevent certain
situations, they are still exposed to things.I think having parents be aware of what they talk about, and let their
children watch on their own is very important. Children can be left to explore
cable channels, and YouTube as often as they want, and it does not stop the
messages from coming.Parents and
teachers need to be active in fighting the apparent sexual overload that
children are being exposed to.
There are many –ism’s floating out in society.They do not always make for the best
influences or references of other people.There are many –ism’s that affect the way that people behavior in
society, whether they are being belittled for who they are, or they are doing
the belittling.Many times people cast
stereotypes at people off of their own misunderstandings, or lack of guidance.
Being judged by others is very hard on a person’s
emotional and cognitive state.The way
that people perceive others can be very negative.I have been made fun of in my life before,
and it has haunted me for years.I
always wondered what I did to make people ask those questions, or to say those
things. No matter how long ago those things were said, I still wonder what would
have made them say those things.
In having someone judge you, it makes you aware of people
around you, and it can make you more critical of the people around you.I know that when these people were making fun
of me, I would avoid them, and do what I could to not interact with them at
all.I can only imagine that the same
thing would happen as an adult, I would avoid people that would be making those
comments towards me.
If my students ever felt that way in my care, I would understand
the hard time that they would have in coming to school. It would be very
important for me to find a way to discuss the issue with the class, so that
child would feel more welcomed in the class.
If childhood centers think that it is appropriate to exclude literature depicting gay or lesbian individuals they are doing themselves a disservice. There are a growing number of same sex parents in society that are raising children that are being bullied because of their family situation. This does not have to be strengthened by the lack of exposure that they received at a young age by their childcare facility. A childcare facility should be open minded and welcoming diversity to other children, so that they are aware of differences around them.
If a parent came to me and told me that they did not want their child to be cared for or around an individual of a different sexual preference I would say "what they do on their own time is not my concern, but the way that they educate children is my concern. If they are regarded as high individuals in their field, I see that there is no reason for your child not to get the best education. Can we discuss and further develop a rational protocol about your child's educational journey?"
I think that it is important that parents do not forget that their children's education and exposure to culture is wrapped around the concept of diversity. Diversity has a broad definition, and it is not limited to one specific thing.
When children are young, their minds are like sponges, and they have a eagerness to soak up all that knowledge. In wanting to be a professional educator it is important that we discuss those important aspects of diversity, so that they are aware of the difference out in the world. In acknowledging those differences, it allows children to be comfortable in exploring their own individuality.
The observation that I witnessed was a mom that was dropping off her child at school, and her son was upset. She walked him to the back of the room to hang up his backpack, and walked to the front door. Her son was clearly upset, and the teacher asked the child what was wrong, and the mom responded " he wants his poptart that is in his backpack" and proceeded to leave the room. The teacher then walked the child to the back of the room to get the poptart out of his backpack, and told the student that he could have "one of them, and we can save the other one for after school." The student was satisfied with that answer, and walked to the table to eat his poptart.
Through this observation there was some confusion as to why the parent would allow the child to bring a poptart from home, but not allow him to eat it on the way to school. Instead he was brought into the classroom upset, and she knew the reason why, but did not offer it to him once he was in the room. It took the initiative of an adult to listen to the child (Stephenson, 2009).
In this observation I felt like the child was trying to communicate with his mother, but the mother was not taking the opportunity to talk to her son about what was going on. The child wanted someone to pay attention to him, and he was being ignored until the teacher in his class asked him what was wrong. "Teachers' words and the way they use them create meaning for children as well as for themselves" (Dangel & Durden, 2010, p. 75).
I think that it would have been better if the parent spent a couple of minutes talking to her son about why he was upset. Him being upset about his poptart might not have been the only reason that he was upset. There could have been things at home that had taken place, that was upsetting to him and the poptart was the middle ground for the situation.
References
Dangel, J. R., & Durden, T. R. (2010). The Nature
of Teacher Talk during Small Group Activities. Young Children, 74-81.
Stephenson, A. (2009). Conversations with a
2-Year-Old. Young Children, 90-95.
When walking into the center I think that it would be nice to have family photo collages that children have constructed with their parents next to the parent information board. I would encourage parents to have pictures of family members that are also on their child's emergency contact sheet, so that there is less confusion when new people are introduced into the room. For example if some one's grandma is coming to town to visit, we would be able to show all the children her picture from the photo, and explain that she is coming to our class to play with us. So that when the grandmother comes into the room the children will have already seen her face, and it will not be as overwhelming.
Another idea that I thought would be nice would be to have children's art work framed around the room, to give it the feeling of a home. Every month artwork can be replaced with newer material and the older ones can be sent home. This allows every child to feel important and unique for creating something that could be put up around the room. (Keeping in mind that frames would have glass removed, and plexi-glass would be replaced so that there is not a safety hazard).
An idea that I loved from the Laureate Education video was that the owner had a shelf by the front of the room that families were allowed to bring in artifacts from their culture to display on the shelf for the month. I think that this idea is amazing, because it allows families to decide for themselves what they determine as important instead of others suggesting ideas for them to bring.
In this same sense in reading through Chapter 4 I really liked the idea of families bringing in receptive cards, so that they are able to create traditional dishes and share them with all the children. I have heard rumors that the program I work for in Kansas City is going to be trying this out next year, and I hope it happens! This is a great way to introduce the books Everyone Eats Bread, Everyone Eats Bread, and etc. to demonstrate that everyone might eat similar foods, just in a different way.
Last but not least I would love to hang a world map on the wall for families to put a heart as to where their heritage is from. I think this would lead into large group time about exploring the world around us, and introducing more traditional cultures into the room. When some ones relative comes to visit the room, we can share the knowledge that we have with them, and they can build upon it.
There are so many more ideas that I could share about how to set up different areas, but I think that these ideas are good for foundation work. These ideas can be built upon in so many different ways, with the children's guidance.
I can think back to when I was working on my Bachelors and I was working with a group of ladies, and we really made a connection. It was not hard to leave the group, because we made time outside of school to get together to catch up with everyone. The group was a great way that got us all introduced to each other. It is interesting now to see all those same people on Facebook, and to see how their lives have changed since school.
I think that the hardest group that I had to leave was my college group. It was the ending of a past and the creation of a new beginning. I truly miss my professors that I had. I spent so much of my time figuring out who I was as a person, and they were there to watch it happen. It was sad to leave the comfort of the setting, because it was one of the first places I felt like I had found myself.
I think that these Master classes have created the same type of environment for me. I have grown as a person, and I have communicated with a lot of individuals that share my passion for these young children. I know that when these classes are over, I am going to be returning to some blogs to see if they keep it up, just to keep in contact. There is so much that I have learned from listening to others stories.
I think of adjourning as the closing of a chapter. It is not the end of the book, just the end of that section. There is so much more that the story has to tell, and it just is not over yet. You feel a sense of accomplishment when the one chapter is complete, but it makes you excited for the other chapters to come!
I am very fortunate right now to not have any situations at work that result in disagreements or conflicts, well expect maybe with some of my student's as to why they have to lay down at quiet time. That problem is easily solved with reminding them that we have quiet time, so that our bodies have a chance to grow, just like we grew our brain knowledge this morning.
The one conflict that I had recently happened with my fiance. We are in the process of purchasing a home, and due to his current work schedule has been unable to attend home viewings and such. Well a couple of weeks ago my friend from back home and her aunt came to visit. So they were able to go house hunting with me, and we found the house!! It had everything on our need list, and want list, all within our budget! It was perfect timing! So when we got home my fiance was preparing to go back into work ( he works the night shift) we told him about the house, showed off some pictures and he was comfortable with putting in an offer. SCORE! So on Friday our bid went in and Monday we got the call to schedule our home inspection. So far the home owners have accepted our bid, but the bank has to as well, because it is a short sell. So I get extremely excited, and my fiance gets upset that he cannot be there for the inspection due to his work and sleep schedule. He does not do well functioning as a zombie. So while we wait for the bank to make up their mind, I have been sending color swatches and tile ideas to my grandma and to my friend that is moving in with us in May. Well, needless to say my fiance got very upset that he was not included in the process, and it made it harder for him because he had not even been inside the house yet.
So we can to a compromise, I can only share house ideas with my grandma and friend after he has seen them. We finally got him into the house to see it, and he is excited about what projects he can do around the house. Today we went to Lowes and looking through flooring samples, back splash tiles and paint. We got a lot accomplished on deciding what we want for the house, and now we just wait.
Even though we work different shifts and we see each other for about 15 minutes a day, we have really put in a lot of effort this week. We work hard during the weekend to create meal plans and get everything accomplished that we need to so that the week can run smoothly. Meal plans help him, so that he knows what is available to cook for his dinner before he has to go to work, which also saves us money instead of eating out.
Being in a relationship is not easy, it takes a lot of effort and selflessness. I am always eager to hear other couples communication tactics and compromise solutions. I will gladly take all the pearls of wisdom I can get!
I was nervous about who was going to evaluate me on my communication skills. I know how I sound in my head, and how things occasionally come out sounded ridiculous, but I was more concerned about how I came across to those around me. I chose to have a friend of mine and my mother do the evaluations. Now I was not concerned about what my friend would say, because we have a very open relationship of no judging, just honesty. So I thought with her, that our outcomes would be very similar. With my mother, that was a different story. I think every mother daughter relationship have their periods where one feels more superior than the other. I did not know because of so much emotion being assigned to our conversations if she would be able to hear me for me, or because I was her daughter.
Surprisingly all of our evaluations were within points of each other!! I found this surprising and relieving! I know what I try to strive for with my conversations, but was not always sure that they came off that way. Apparently I am not doing that bad of a job at this whole communication thing. :)
From reading through the evaluation categories I learned that I do need to modify my communication and listening tactics a little bit. I tend to be slightly naïve when people tell me things, and unfortunately I have been that way my whole life. I take many things at face value, but I am learning at how to analyze the information that I receive, and then how to respond to it. That is the other issue I have. Sure I might ramble off a handful of suggestive ways that someone could correct or fix their problems, even though they never asked for that. This is a family trait as well, so I have some major reconnection to fix there! I find it helpful talking to people through text message, because it allows me more time to analyze the conversation and to determine if they wanted advice, or they just wanted someone to listen. My friends are very good at letting me know when I have it wrong because they will question my silence or delayed responses with 'What do you think" or "Has that ever happened to you?"
I really like the relationships that I have created over the years, and I am proud to say that I am communicating on a very honest level with my friends and family. I appreciate that they are aware of those things within me, and that they use them to their strength as well.
I do not find myself communicating differently with people from different cultures. I find that when I am at work, as a professional I speak to everyone the same way. I speak with the same professional demeanor, my language stays consistent. I do tend to speak differently around friends and family. I have friends that have different language levels and I do adjust myself accordingly. With having friends of the family that are teachers as well, it is hard to use slang or abbreviated talk because they will critique your words and communication skills.
I speak differently at sporting events than I do at the theater as well. There are different atmospheres that allow different communication skills in order to blend into the culture surrounding you.
Having a good understanding of the people that you are communicating with allows you to have better relationships with these people. Always having an open form of communication with the families that you work with can open the lines of communication.
Keeping in constant contact with your families builds a great foundation so that when there is anything that ever comes up that you might need to talk with them about, you already have a strong relationship. This helps the lines of communication stay open. One of the hardest parts of communication is being honest with others, but it also a benefit. When you can have honest communication with others it takes the guess work out of it. You never go into a situation and are left wondering if they are holding something back.
It is definitely not easy, but it is worth it.
The show that I chose to watch was Rake. In the beginning it showed what looked to be recaps from previous episodes. The scene starts off with a man having what I am assuming is his girlfriend pull out one of his teeth. He seems to be convincing her to do it, and she does. Maybe he does not have insurance and has a bad tooth, who knows?! It is possible that he cannot afford insurance, because he got a ride with a neighbor to go to a funeral. The main character seemed to be upset at the funeral, but it does not seem like he truly knows the person. In one second there seems to be a heated argument between the main character and someone else at the funeral, and the next second they are hugging and talking together.
In the next scene the main character goes to a bar to meet up with an acquaintance, but he leads him to the back of his bar and beats him up. The main character gives nonverbal cues at what looks like to have the man punch him in the face. His acquaintance does so, and the main character ends up pulling out his tooth!
As it turns out the main character is a lawyer, which would explain why everyone he comes into contact with either seems angry, upset or hurt. There seem to be a lot of heated arguments with other characters. I do not know if this is typical for this show, or if it is because it is not the first episode either.
I thought that this assignment was going to be easy, and it was just the opposite. I found it hard to stay interested in a show I have never heard about, and never watched before, on mute!
Turns out he couldn't afford a dentist, and is having money issues. At the funeral he was listening to a football game that he had made a bet on. Inside the church at the funeral, he dropped his phone and the football game started echoing through the church. The man that he started talking to at the funeral was a friend of his that he was trying to get to open up about his fathers death. He was encouraging him to express his true feelings towards his father now that he has passed.
The man that he went and saw at the bar was his bookie. He made a bet on the football game he was listening to at the funeral, and now he is in a huge debt. So his bookie had to beat him up to demonstrate the seriousness the situation, and to let him know when he needed to pay his debt.
What type of show did I get myself involved in?!?! Turns out the lawyer has more people upset at him because he is defending a cannibal. Many of the characters do not understand why he is defending a cannibal, but it turns out that it is not against the law to be one.
There are a lot of things that I did not pick up with just the nonverbal communication side of it.
I do think that my assumptions would have been different if it had been a show that I was more familiar with, and knew from the beginning, instead of jumping into a show on their 4th episode. Trying to understand the characters at this point while the show was on mute was hard and challenging. It is definitely beneficial to be able to listen!!
The person that I think about is one of my professors from back in California. The things that I feel that made her an effective communicator is that from the very beginning of her class she made herself available to her students. She always welcomed in her students ideas and concepts of things that had been learned from our own journeys. It was through our personal experiences that she wanted to get to know her students better. Often times she would take some of her students out for coffee to get to know us better.
Having such an open and caring teacher allowed me to respect her and feel confident that no matter what struggle I was going through, that I could ask her a question about it, and that I would not just be cast aside. At another university that I attended, I did not have one teacher that knew my name, I was just a number on a roster.
I would love to model some of my communication behaviors after her. Having take the simple amount of time to get to know me, and help me through my college career was priceless. I hope that I am able to transfer that same type of atmosphere with my students and families. I want to be able to get to know them and for them to be comfortable enough to come to me for whatever they might need.
